0 comments on “Navigating a break-up or divorce during the Holidays”

Navigating a break-up or divorce during the Holidays

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The holiday season can be especially lonely if you are going through a recent break-up or divorce.  Break-ups and divorce sometimes break our hearts and leave us feeling depressed or lonely. An unexpected or sudden break-up or divorce can be an end to our hopes and dreams for a future with our loved one. We might find ourselves having a difficult time trusting again or finding the motivation to move on with our lives. Here are some pointers on how to navigate this difficult time to get your life back on track.

  1. Accept the loss for what it is:  Loss is painful.  The first step to moving on is to accept that the relationship is over.  Once we recognise that it is over, we can stop analysing, why? What if?
  2. Accept that it might be a difficult holiday season: Accept that this holiday season might be painful because you are not able to celebrate it with the person that you lost.  It might also be painful to see other happy couples and families together during this period.   Try to stay present and focus on what you do have, and not on what you don’t have.  Focus on what your holiday wants, and needs are this season.
  3. Be patient with your emotions: It is natural to grieve after a break-up or a divorce. Sometimes we are mourning the loss of mutual friends, finances and a future with the other person. During this period of grief, allow yourself some time to feel your feelings. If your emotions become overwhelming and consuming, reach out to a professional in the mental health field.
  4. Reconnect with loved ones: Reach out to friends and family who have been supportive and warm to you in the past. Social support is a great way to reconnect with yourself and others, helping to reduce loneliness.
  5. Focus on your desires and goals: Take the break-up as an opportunity to discover who you are and what you would like to do with your life. Set some goals and work towards them daily.
  6. Exercise: Physical activity releases stress and builds confidence. Often times after a break-up or divorce our self-esteem drops. Exercise helps us to feel healthy and fit as well as stimulates our mind and increases focus.
  7. Appreciate your journey: Appreciate the good times you had with your partner and the love that you once shared. It may seem like you will never find someone to love during this period of loss. On the contrary, you can use this experience to decide who you are and what you would like in your next partner.
  8. Rediscover who you are: A break-up or divorce can give you the opportunity to reflect on your own vulnerabilities and strengths. Who are you, where are you going and what have you learned from this experience. It can be helpful during this period to hire a psychologist to help you on your path to self-evolution.
  9. Do something nice for yourself every day: Everyday find 10-15 minutes to do something kind for yourself. It can be taking a nice bath, doing yoga, meditating, or reading a book. Make sure that you find the time for self-care.
  10. Self-compassion: After a break-up or divorce it can be easy to place blame on yourself or the other person. Blame does not heal or solve any problems. Be compassionate towards yourself and speak to yourself without judgement.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Easing Academic Stress in the Home.”

Easing Academic Stress in the Home.

Hong Kong counselling therapist services-child therapy

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Academic pressure is a major source of anxiety and stress for many children and teens.  As a parent, you want what is best for your child.  Here are a few pointers to help you ease the academic pressure your child might be feeling.

  1. Have a stress free homework routine.  After school allow your child or teen to have a snack.  Food will help them to be in a better mood and help their brain concentrate better.  It is difficult to think when you are hungry.  Set a regular routine where after they eat, do homework, and then they can be rewarded with play or exercise.
  2. Allow your child breaks.  The brain can only focus for certain amounts of time.  Children have a shorter attention span than adults.  If your child is having a difficult time sitting still, make a game out of the homework.  Say, “If you can focus and do this worksheet properly, you can have two minutes to play, or do whatever you like.  When I count to ten, we resume the homework again.”
  3. Take the pressure out of the home.  Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  If your child is struggling in math, do not add more pressure by shouting or punishing them.  Sit down next to them and patiently explain it to them. If you are unable to be patient with them, hire a patient tutor.  Speak kindly to your child.  When your child is calm, they can think better.
  4. Allow play and exercise for added focus and brain power. Your child or teen needs to play and exercise in order to sit through school.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain making it easier to focus and learn.  Children need to play to reduce stress.
  5. Stress reduction.  Anxiety and stress hinder learning because the fight or flight system is activated.  Anxiety and stress make it difficult to focus and learn.  Stress and anxiety can be reduced in different ways, such as play, art, exercise and breathing techniques.  Allow your child to open up to you and express how they are feeling without judgement and punishment.
  6. Sleep. Make sure your child or teenager is getting enough sleep at night.  Lack of sleep makes it difficult to learn.
  7. Proper nutrition.  Too much sugar will create fatigue and shorten attention span.  Proper nutrition and diet lead to a healthy body and brain.
  8. Remain calm.  The calmer you are, the calmer your child will be.  This enables a better learning environment in and outside of the home.
  9. Decrease screen time. Overstimulation from the iPad, television, computer, video games and phone decrease attention. Limit the amount your teen or child is allowed to use these electronic devices.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr. Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Mental Health Spa Day”

Mental Health Spa Day

Hong Kong psychologist offering counselling services

spaday.jpgPeople are often intimidated by seeing a psychologist, counsellor or therapist because they think that they don’t need one or because of the stigma attached to mental health. Psychologists and other counsellors are there to provide a safe space that is free of judgement.  Trained professionals can help anyone become more successful in their career, relationships or promote overall well-being.  A trained professional can help you to understand yourself and others better, leading to increased peace and happiness.  Here are a few ways that psychologists, counsellors and therapists enable your success.

  1. They help you to understand and regulate your emotions.  Being able to remain calm under pressure and stress is a superpower.  When you understand your emotions better, you are able to regulate them which decreases stress and anxiety.
  2.  They help you understand your thought patterns.  Often times we are unaware how our own thought patterns are affecting our self-esteem, behaviours and relationships.  Our past relationships and experiences have dictated how we speak to ourselves.  Often times we need to retrain our thought patterns to be happier.
  3. They help you to understand your own strengths and weaknesses.  Often we are unaware of how we are underutilising our strengths and avoidant of our weaknesses. It is much easier to avoid our selves than to face ourselves.  When we begin to take responsibility and action, we become a better person.
  4. They promote resilience.  Trained professionals have spent years studying human behaviour and thought patterns.  This knowledge enables them to lead you towards resilience, grit and success.
  5. They help you to have better relationships. Trained professionals understand different personality types and how to communicate and interact with the personality types.  They can help you get along better with your boss, spouse, friends, and co-workers.  Better relationships often lead to increased happiness and success.
  6. You are able to be yourself without judgement.  Being able to speak to someone objectively who will not judge you can be liberating.  When you feel free to say and be your authentic self, you become aware of your passions, goals, and thought patterns.  Becoming authentic enables you to have increased overall feelings of well-being and happiness.
  7. They help children and teenagers overcome.  Teenagers and children are a vulnerable population that has difficulty verbalising how they feel.  A professional can use play and art therapy to help your child or teen do better in school and become happier.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

2 comments on “What is a boundary, and why should I have them?”

What is a boundary, and why should I have them?

Hong Kong psychologist offering counselling services

Boundaries are an essential aspect of self-care. They help us to maintain perspective and keep our energy and focus.  You can still have limits while remaining caring and compassionate towards others.  Boundaries can be difficult for people who put others before themselves.  When we don’t take care of ourselves, we can not take care of others.  Here are some boundaries and why you should have them.

1. Put yourself first: Putting yourself first does not mean that you do not care about others.  Putting yourself first says that you understand and respect your personal goals, emotions and needs.  When you appreciate your own needs, you do not put the needs of others before your own.  When you continually put the needs of others before your own, resentment builds.  Often times in relationships and in your career, you may need to find a way to have your needs met while still respecting the needs of others.

2. Self-awareness: When you are self-aware you understand what you are emotionally, physically and psychologically capable of.  You do not push beyond this because you understand that this will cause damage to your personal well-being.  When you push yourself over your limits you become drained, stressed and lose perspective and energy.

3. Keeping guilt in check: Sometimes we might feel guilty if we don’t help out a friend, co-worker, family member or spouse.  Helping others is a positive thing that can help to bring happiness and increase your self-esteem.  However, when we are already tapped out mentally or physically, helping others might interfere with the balance in our own lives.

4. Remain balanced: Balance means that we have enough physical, social and mental activity to keep us happy and motivated.  When we lack balance, we become irritable and tired.

5. Don’t take things too personally: Sometimes people become irritated, critical or upset with you.  Understand what is going on with the other person, you and the situation from a third party perspective.  Can you improve your behaviour?  Is the other person projecting their own insecurities onto you? Is the situation one that needs to be fixed?

6. Communicate your needs:  Often times people have a different needs priority list.  Miscommunication happens if you expect people to read your mind.  Tell the other person what your needs are, and stand firm.  Do not let the other person take your needs for granted.

7. Cost-benefit analysis: If you find yourself confused if you should stay in a situation or with a person, do a quick cost-benefit analysis.  Is this situation going to pay off in the future with a cost now?  Is the cost higher than the benefit?  Is there any benefit at all?

8. Be patient with yourself: If you are not used to asserting your needs, boundaries will be difficult.  Take it a day at a time and give yourself some space.  Keep trying until you understand your needs and are communicating your needs.

9. Reach out for help: If boundaries are difficult for you due to past abuse or a lack of confidence, reach out for help.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “What boxing taught me about unconditional love and confidence”

What boxing taught me about unconditional love and confidence

Boxing found its way into my life when I had hit rock bottom emotionally, physically and financially. I had just lost my closest friend to a tragic accident, graduated with my master’s degree during the housing crises in New York and was living in Harlem on food stamps. I was desperately looking for employment when I met Al, who told me that I had a boxers skull and that we could make some money boxing. He had an elaborate plan; we would build up my confidence and skill set by fighting in Asia because they do not keep records, we would then come back to the USA and try to go pro. For a few months, he trained me to fight and helped me to pay my rent. He was quite strict and would make me do one thousand jabs a day.

 

During this period, I started dating my now ex-husband, D. Al, told me that champions don’t fall in love and because of that he could no longer train me.

I was beginning to appreciate the physical and mental challenges that came along with boxing. So, I decided to find a gym that would train me for a reasonable amount. That was when I met Darryl Pierre at Kingsway Boxing gym in Chelsea. He took me in and taught me all day every day. This was a difficult task for Darryl because I was unfit and unskilled. He was patient, pushed me through fear, and built my confidence. Daryl made me feel like a champion, and he never gave up on me.

A few months into training with Daryl, D asked me if we should move to Hong Kong with his work. Though we had not been dating for long, I took it as an opportunity to start over in a new environment. We decided to get married so that I could work while we were in Hong Kong. At this point, I was waiting tables and bartending in New York. The only thing that I had to look forward to during that period was boxing. I cried when I had to leave Daryl and move to Hong Kong.

The first thing I did when I arrived in Hong Kong was to find a boxing gym. I had visited a few; the gyms were closed down or falling apart. Then I came across Impakt MMA. I walked into the gym, and the owner, Alain Ngalani, a world champion kickboxer smiled at me from ear to ear. His smile said, welcome to my gym and to my family. I knew right then that is where I belonged. I told Alain that I wanted to be an amateur boxer and he took it seriously. Alain introduced me to a Thai trainer named Ekapol who had had over 300 professional Muay Thai fights. Alain and Ekapol were not there to make me feel good; they were there to kick my ass and get me fit.

Alain told me that there was going to be a white-collar charity fight that was to take place and that I was going to fight in it. I was intimidated. I was drinking too much, eating bad food and my cardio was horrible. Alain pushed my fitness levels until at the end of every day I thought I was going to die. I would go home with every muscle and bone aching. My face felt continually swollen. Alain would not let me give up.

Two weeks before the fight, Ekapol asked me to find another trainer. That’s when I met David Hergault. He would be my trainer for six years and twelve fights. It was during these six years of training with David and Alain that I learned what unconditional love was. As an ex-Mormon, I was used to being judged, shamed and having love be very conditional. Alain and David stood by me and told me they would help me with whatever I needed.

Alain and David went all in with me for every fight, win, lose or draw. They have seen me bleed, vomit and sweat, and it was always ok. David and Alain saw me fight my way through my divorce, my PhD, and poverty. During my divorce, David said, “I don’t care what you’re going through. When you are in the gym, you train, and you focus.” These were the words that made me realise that staying in the moment and focusing on what needs to be done makes you a more resilient person. If you are not focused and in the moment in boxing, you will get hurt.

After my losses, David would be upset with me because I wasn’t living up to my potential. He could see that I was losing because I wasn’t confident and because I didn’t believe in myself. He saw something in me that I could not yet see in myself. He wanted me to fight more so that I was comfortable in the ring. Alain saw my struggle and tried to build me up, pushing me through every intense workout and hugging me when I cried. I would cry after every loss, every time I felt that I disappointed David and Alain. I didn’t want to disappoint them because I felt that they were the two who always believed in me.

Along the way, I met strong women who would spar with me. Push my emotional and mental abilities. I would take a big hit and want to kill them. In boxing, this is dangerous. In boxing, every time you get mad or scared, you waste energy. When you are angry, you make mistakes. A turning point came when one of my sparring partners introduced me to her trainer Paul Logan. It was Paul who taught me to keep my cool, to respond and not react. He taught me that fighting is more than aggression and being tough, you also have to be calm and in control. Paul taught me how to meditate so that I could become more in tune with my body and emotions. He told me that temper was giving into your three-year-old. Paul created a safe space for me to embrace my dark side and become a calmer person and fighter.

The more I trained, the more I fell in love with boxing. And the more I fought, the more confident I became. The more confident I grew, the harder my fights were. That’s when I met Sandy Lam, the best female boxer in Hong Kong. I was set to compete with her at one point. David wanted me to go for it, but I could tell that he was nervous about it. He would make me run 20 sprints, and then run with him up hills in Hong Kong. I would lie on the floor sweating and dying after every session. The competition for me to compete with Sandy was cancelled right before the date, but we became sparring partners after that. Every time she kicked my ass, I became tougher and more skilled. It was moments like these that I realized that you have to push yourself beyond what you believe you can do to get where you need to be.

I will forever be thankful for the people who have helped me along my boxing journey to become more confident, resilient and to understand the meaning of unconditional love. In boxing, it doesn’t matter how educated you are, how wealthy you are or how well dressed you are. What counts is that you show up and put in the work. Every man is equal in the ring.

0 comments on “Should I stay with my cheating partner?”

Should I stay with my cheating partner?

Hong Kong counsellling therapist

People cheat for many reasons.  It might be that the primary relationship lacks physical or emotional intimacy.  Another reason might be that one person feels unappreciated and seeks validation outside of the primary relationship. For more information on why people cheat, click here.

It is difficult not to take being cheated on personally.  Trust in the relationship is missing and may be hard to repair.  Here are some options and points to consider in an unfaithful circumstance or relationship.

1. Was your partner trying to hurt you or get revenge?  If your partner had an affair to punish you, can you forgive this?  Are they punishing you for having an affair? Or are they punishing you because you have not met some of their expectations?  This is a conversation to have to with your partner to understand their motivation and if you can repair the relationship.  If your partner cheated to hurt you to have more power or control over you, be cautious in taking them back.

2. Your partner is insecure in relationships in general: If your partner cheated because they are afraid you will abandon them, or they are insecure in relationships in general, they might always cheat.  If your partner is insecure because you have not been appreciative, emotionally or physically available, then you can aim to work towards repairing the relationship if you have the desire to save it.

3. Your partner wanted new sexual experiences: Your partner may have cheated because they wanted a unique or varied sexual experience.  If your relationship lacks sexual intimacy, your partner may have strayed to have their sexual needs met.  The question to ask yourself in this situation is, why don’t I want to have sex with my partner and can we work and repair this?  Am I ok with an open relationship?  Do I also want new sexual experiences that we can try as a couple?

4. Your partner wanted validation: Does your primary relationship have gratitude and appreciation for one another.  Couples often focus on what they do not have in a relationship instead of what they do have.  If someone is feeling taken for granted, or neglected, they might rationalise having an affair.  This is an opportunity to make your relationship stronger if you can see past the violation of trust and use it to build intimacy in your relationship.

An affair can break a relationship if the trust has been broken past the point of repair.  If both partners are willing to work on the problems in the relationship, a relationship can become stronger after an affair.  An affair might bring new appreciation to the relationship because it brings an awareness to how hurtful losing the relationship would be.  If you believe the relationship is worth saving, focus on the other person as a person and not a possession.  A marriage counsellor or therapist might be able to help both partners see the other person’s perspective and help the couple to communicate better.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment. Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Overcoming Rejection”

Overcoming Rejection

Hong Kong counseling therapist services offers private professional therapy - Teenager therapy

loneliness-1879453_1920Being rejected is a sign that you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone and have tried to achieve something.  Rejection can sting and hurt our self-esteem if we don’t manage it properly.  We can use rejection to learn and gain what we originally set out for.

Here are some pointers on how you can use rejection to your advantage.

1. Create some space to feel your emotions.  Avoiding your emotions by distracting yourself, using alcohol or drugs will eventually make you feel worse.  You can make space for your emotions by acknowledging and accepting the fear, loneliness or sadness that might come from rejection.  You do not need to let your emotions control you, but you can get comfortable with them by accepting that your emotions are there to teach you something.  Sadness allows us to slow down and analyze, fear pushes us out of our comfort zone, and loneliness enables us to reach out.

2. What did you learn? Rejection enables us to take a step back and learn about what about our priorities, goals, motivations and what we can do better next time.

3. Practice self-compassion.  Speak kindly to yourself.  Imagine you are speaking to a close friend who has just been rejected.  Would you belittle them or make them feel bad about themselves?  Or would you encourage them to try again and acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes?  Do something kind for yourself on a daily basis, whether it is meditation, reading a book, getting a massage, or just spending time alone to reflect.

4. Reach out for social support.  When we feel down, it is easy to isolate ourselves.  Social support reminds us that we are not alone and that others have gone through what we have gone through.  Sometimes just talking about it with your friends or family helps you to feel better.

5. You are so much more than this one rejection.  Remember that this rejection has nothing to do with who you are as a person.  The rejection does not mean that you are fundamentally flawed.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Am I sad or depressed?”

Am I sad or depressed?

US trained psychologist in Hong Kong counselling and therapy services

fantasy-2964231_640Sadness is an emotion that slows us down and teaches us that we made a mistake, or that something or someone hurt us.  Usually, when we are sad, we are still able to get out of bed and maintain our daily routines.  Depression is a deeper emotion that often feels like dark or heaviness.  We find ourselves unable to go about our daily routines.  If you have been feeling depressed for more than a couple of months, help from a proffessional is a good idea.  Here are some warning signs that you might be depressed.

1. Your sleeping habits have changed:  You might find that it feels almost impossible to get out of bed.  You want to sleep for days because when you are sleeping, you can’t feel the pain.  Or you might find that you can no longer sleep at night.  You might feel tired all the time.

2. Your relationships begin to suffer: Your relationships might be suffering because you are so overwhelmed with pain that you feel like you can not deal with anyone else.  You might feel agitated with others and have little empathy for what they are experiencing.  You might withdraw because you do not want to burden anyone else.  This is exactly the time when you should reach out to others who are caring and supportive.

3. You feel hopeless: You begin to feel like you will be suffering forever and that there is nothing you can do to alleviate the pain.  You might feel like you will always fail, never reach your goals or always be stuck.

4. Your body aches for no reason:  You might find that your muscles are sore and stiff, but you haven’t been exercising.  You might also have a change in appetite, either eating too much or too little.  Your body might feel heavy.   Though you feel tired and unmotivated, exercise will help you.

5. You can’t focus: You might not be able to focus at work or school.  You might become easily distracted or feel like you are dreaming.

6. Difficult to find joy in anything:  You might not be able to enjoy things that you used to love, or have a difficult time enjoying anything.

7. Your hygiene has suffered: You feel like taking a shower, doing your hair or brushing your teeth is to much effort.

Depression can be difficult to overcome on your own.  It is not something to be ashamed of or hidden from others.  Depression is a liar and often unmotivates us and we want to do what is opposite of what we should do.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist  Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Becoming confident after abuse.”

Becoming confident after abuse.

US trained psychologist offering therapy services

If you have been abused as a child or as an adult, you might feel worthless.  If as a child you underwent neglect, rejection or abuse from your parents, confidence might be harder to find.  A child who has experienced verbal abuse and neglect will begin to believe that they are worthless and horrible.  The damage from abuse might take years to undo, here are some pointers to set you in the right direction.

1. Don’t judge yourself or others. When you judge other people, you also judge yourself.  If you change your mindset to acceptance of others, you also learn how to accept yourself.  This takes patience and practice as it is human nature to judge.

2. Speak kindly to yourself.  Notice when you are abusing yourself and rephrase.  For example, “I’m an idiot,” becomes, “I am capable of fixing that mistake.  I can handle this.”  Speak to yourself like you would speak to someone that you respect and admire.

3. Understand the abuse has nothing to do with you. When you are abused, you might begin to believe that you deserved it, or that you are worthless.  Understand that people who are happy and comfortable with themselves do not abuse others.  Abusers tend to be people who are hurting deeply and want to control by devaluing others.  Break the cycle of abuse by healing your emotional wounds and treating yourself and others with respect and compassion.

4. Set boundaries.  Learn how to communicate and put your needs before the needs of others.  Don’t allow people to violate or own your physical or psychological space.

5. Explore your fears and insecurities.  When we have been abused, we might have more fear of rejection and failure than others.  Be brave enough to look at your insecurities and ask if they are preventing you from reaching your potential.  Some fear is a liar.  You are not worthless, and you can accomplish goals.

6. Set goals and accomplish them: Push through your self-doubt and set manageable goals for yourself.  As you reach your goals, you become more confident.  Believe in yourself and tell yourself you can handle it.

7. Reach out for support: Speak to those who support you or reach out for professional help.  The effects of abuse can be unconscious and hard to detect.

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Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Why am I so angry?”

Why am I so angry?

Hong Kong psychological services

Humans have emotions for a reason.  Some emotions keep us safe, social and on a certain life path.  Anger is an emotion that tells others, “don’t mess with me,” or “I want to feel in control.” Anger helps us to feel powerful and it can motivate us.  Anger is not a problem, but how we react to it can be.

1. Change the psychological meaning from anger to disappointment.  Dissapointment is a healthier way to acknowledge that something did not turn out the way you expected or desired.  When we are disappointed it is easier to respond instead of react.  When we can respond in an objective manner we have more control over a situation.

2. Where and when do you feel out of control?  When we acknowledge and accept the situations where we feel out of control, we can respond to them better.  We might feel out of control if we can’t have the partner, job or social status we desire.  We can understand that our feelings of anger can be used in a positive way to motivate us to attend to our goals.  Anger becomes destructive when we become aggressive and sabotage our relationships and career opportunities.

3. Your focus is on external validation.  When we are constantly seeking the validation of others, we might be more sensitive to rejection.  The feeling of rejection might anger us and cause conflict in our relationships.  Focus on your goals and needs and how you can reach internal validation and confidence.

4. You have been abused.  People who have been abused might unconsciously feel that they need to be aggressive towards others before someone hurts them first.  Anger and violence is a way to feel in control and to control the other person.  Anger can even be directed towards yourself and self-loathing can take place.  Be aware of who is safe and unsafe in your environment.  Work on creating a safe space for yourself both physically and psychologically.  When this becomes overwhelming or difficult, a professional can walk you through this process.

5. De-stress.  Sometimes we feel agitated and angry when our stress levels are too high and we are out of balance.  Focus on taking some stress out of your life by going into nature, meditating, playing sports or by spending time with friends.

Monica_in

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel