Divorce is stressful.  It can be even more stressful if a judge court orders psychological evaluation for custody. The order usually happens in high conflict divorces where the divorcing parents cannot agree about custody outside of court or in mediation.  Playing games with the psychologist, the court and the judge is a bad idea and will only catch up with you one way or another.  Here are some pointers to show the psychologist you are a capable parent.

The psychologist wants what’s best for the child.

Most psychologists believe that children should have a secure relationship with both parents.

Lying will only prolong the process.

Psychologists who do custody reports assume that they will be lied to by either one or both of the parents.  If the psychologist suspects you are lying, they will investigate further, which will cost more time and money. If you are caught lying, it will be noted in the report. It is not wise to wait until the last minute to schedule your appointment with the psychologist because they might assume you are playing a game.

Don’t block access with the other parent.

Blocking access is a form of emotional abuse for the child. If you have strong evidence of sexual or physical abuse, contact the police immediately.  Do not accuse your partner of abuse if it is not true.

Revenge is not a good idea.

If you do things to get revenge on your partner, the psychologist will see it and note it. Retaliation will only hurt you and could result in supervised access.

Do not coach the children on what to say.

Coaching the children will result in stress for the child and can be recognised by a trained psychologist.  It is important to speak to your child about divorce appropriately not to cause your child harm.


Co-operate with the psychologist to know that you are a person who can function in society and as a parent.


To set up an appointment with me, please email info@doctormonicaborschel.com.

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

Although I am a registered clinical psychologist with the Hong Kong Society of Counseling and Psychology, I am not a licensed psychologist or any other type of licensed therapist in the United States. The information I am providing here is educational and informational. This social media page does not provide professional advice, nor does it create a professional-client relationship or any other type of relationship between us. You should always consult your own licensed mental health professional before making any changes regarding your mental health. My goal is to educate, guide, consult, and empower you regarding your mental health journey. Always consult your licensed mental healthcare provider(s) and never disregard or delay medical advice based on information posted on this page or post.