In a global economy, you or your partner might have to travel for work.  There are both upsides and downsides to spending time apart.  The upside is that you can do what you want to do when you want to do it.  The downside might look like taking care of the home and the children by yourself.  When your partner is away, it might feel lonely. You might also worry that your partner at home or away isn’t safe or being faithful. Here are some ways to keep the anxiety away and the intimacy close.

Establish trust

If trust is an issue because of past experiences in your life, or as a couple, find ways to build trust or enable trust. Is trust low because you don’t trust yourself?  Is trust low because of a past affair? Or is it low because your partner has been faithful, but you have been betrayed in the past?

Share your feelings

Are you afraid for your partner’s safety? Are you feeling guilty that you have to travel for work?  Are you feeling abandoned? Is it lonely travelling? Are you resentful that you are left at home to manage by yourself?  Sharing feelings can be productive if your partner does not feel blamed or attacked.  Make the conversation about “we” and not “I.”  For example, “it is hard on us that I have to travel so much.  I don’t want to be away from you.  I miss you when I am away.  I feel scared that something bad might happen to you.  I feel guilty that you have to take care of things alone.  How can we get through this together as a team?”

Set time to talk daily

Take time to check in with your partner. If you’re feeling lonely, be curious if they are as well.  Stay empathetic to what your partner is going through.  Take time to tell them you appreciate the efforts they are making to stay in touch as well as the efforts they are making to provide or take care of things.

When you are together, stay present

When you do have time with your partner, remain present in the moment with them. Enjoy each other’s company by doing things that you enjoy together.  When was the last time that you held your partner’s hand?

Manage conflict

When you are angry with your partner, all you can imagine is all the times that person upset you. Try to remember the happy times as well during a conflict.  Don’t avoid conflict, because the resentment will build.  Learn ways to speak and resolve the tension between you and your partner.

Enjoy your own time when your partner is away

When your partner is away, focus on your friends, hobbies and things that you want to learn. Healthy relationships include both partners having their own interests.

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If you would like to set up an appointment please contact me on +852 2521 4668 or email m.borschel@mindnlife.com.

Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

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