0 comments on “How placing judgement hurts you”

How placing judgement hurts you

Hong Kong psychological services

Human minds organize things and people to process information quicker. The downside to this is categorizing people leads to stereotyping. The key is to be aware of your own stereotypes so that you don’t overlook other valuable information. The more often we judge others, the more often we judge ourself. This can lead to social anxiety and self-consciousness. Here is how you can help yourself.

1. Be aware of your judgements. Are you judging because:

A. Something about the other person represents a part of yourself that you don’t like?

B. The other person reminds you of someone who hurt your you?

C. The other person represents something that you want to be?

2. Speak kindly to yourself and others.

3. Is the judgement destructive or constructive. Destructive judgement is harmful and says that you or the other person are not good enough. Constructive judgement helps you or the other person grow and become better.

4. Reframe destructive judgement. Everyone is a product of their genes and their environment. People act and react to you based on how they perceive you and their own past experiences. Having this in mind helps you to view others objectively rather than critically.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Easing Academic Stress in the Home.”

Easing Academic Stress in the Home.

Hong Kong counselling therapist services-child therapy

Academic pressure is a major source of anxiety and stress for many children and teens.  As a parent, you want what is best for your child.  Here are a few pointers to help you ease the academic pressure your child might be feeling.

  1. 1. Have a stress free homework routine.  After school allow your child or teen to have a snack.  Food will help them to be in a better mood and help their brain concentrate better.  It is difficult to think when you are hungry.  Set a regular routine where after they eat, do homework, and then they can be rewarded with play or exercise.
  2. Allow your child breaks.  The brain can only focus for certain amounts of time.  Children have a shorter attention span than adults.  If your child is having a difficult time sitting still, make a game out of the homework.  Say, “If you can focus and do this worksheet properly, you can have two minutes to play, or do whatever you like.  When I count to ten, we resume the homework again.”
  3. Take the pressure out of the home.  Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  If your child is struggling in math, do not add more pressure by shouting or punishing them.  Sit down next to them and patiently explain it to them. If you are unable to be patient with them, hire a patient tutor.  Speak kindly to your child.  When your child is calm, they can think better.
  4. Allow play and exercise for added focus and brain power. Your child or teen needs to play and exercise in order to sit through school.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain making it easier to focus and learn.  Children need to play to reduce stress.
  5. Stress reduction.  Anxiety and stress hinder learning because the fight or flight system is activated.  Anxiety and stress make it difficult to focus and learn.  Stress and anxiety can be reduced in different ways, such as play, art, exercise and breathing techniques.  Allow your child to open up to you and express how they are feeling without judgement and punishment.
  6. Sleep. Make sure your child or teenager is getting enough sleep at night.  Lack of sleep makes it difficult to learn.
  7. Proper nutrition.  Too much sugar will create fatigue and shorten attention span.  Proper nutrition and diet lead to a healthy body and brain.
  8. Remain calm.  The calmer you are, the calmer your child will be.  This enables a better learning environment in and outside of the home.
  9. Decrease screen time. Overstimulation from the iPad, television, computer, video games and phone decrease attention. Limit the amount your teen or child is allowed to use these electronic devices.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US trained Clinical Psychologist Get in touch with Dr. Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com for an individual or Skype session.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “How placing judgement hurts you”

How placing judgement hurts you

Hong Kong psychological services

Human minds organize things and people to process information quicker. The downside to this is categorizing people leads to stereotyping. The key is to be aware of your own stereotypes so that you don’t overlook other valuable information. The more often we judge others, the more often we judge ourself. This can lead to social anxiety and self-consciousness. Here is how you can help yourself.

1. Be aware of your judgements. Are you judging because:

A. Something about the other person represents a part of yourself that you don’t like?

B. The other person reminds you of someone who hurt your you?

C. The other person represents something that you want to be?

2. Speak kindly to yourself and others.

3. Is the judgement destructive or constructive. Destructive judgement is harmful and says that you or the other person are not good enough. Constructive judgement helps you or the other person grow and become better.

4. Reframe destructive judgement. Everyone is a product of their genes and their environment. People act and react to you based on how they perceive you and their own past experiences. Having this in mind helps you to view others objectively rather than critically.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “How to better manage your days when you are depressed.”

How to better manage your days when you are depressed.

Hong Kong counselling and therapist services

Depression is a liar. It tells us that we are fundamentally flawed and that we should hide. Depression is exhausting. It’s difficult to reach out for help because we don’t want to burden anyone. Sometimes when you are depressed you need to do opposite of what you feel.

1. Reach out for professional help. You might feel like you don’t deserve it or that you don’t need help. You need to push through those thoughts and emotions so that you can get better. If you are too tired to get out of bed, arrange for a Skype consultation. If this seems overwhelming, ask a friend to make the appointment for you.

2. Organize your schedule and stick to a routine. If you can, organize your day hour by hour and develop a daily routine. This will help you to get things done because you will be less confused about what you should be doing.

 

3. Write your thoughts and emotions. Writing out your emotions can help you release some stress. Negative thoughts that are helpless or hopeless should be reframed into positive action.

4. Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins which helps us to feel happier and more motivated.

5. Social support: This one is difficult when you want to hide at home. Mentally prepare yourself to set up a time to meet people who care about you and can help you relax.

6. Laugh: comedy and laughter increase our positive emotions.

7. Go out into nature.

 

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

 

0 comments on “Easing Academic Stress in the Home.”

Easing Academic Stress in the Home.

Hong Kong counselling therapist services-child therapy

Academic pressure is a major source of anxiety and stress for many children and teens.  As a parent, you want what is best for your child.  Here are a few pointers to help you ease the academic pressure your child might be feeling.

  1. 1. Have a stress free homework routine.  After school allow your child or teen to have a snack.  Food will help them to be in a better mood and help their brain concentrate better.  It is difficult to think when you are hungry.  Set a regular routine where after they eat, do homework, and then they can be rewarded with play or exercise.
  2. Allow your child breaks.  The brain can only focus for certain amounts of time.  Children have a shorter attention span than adults.  If your child is having a difficult time sitting still, make a game out of the homework.  Say, “If you can focus and do this worksheet properly, you can have two minutes to play, or do whatever you like.  When I count to ten, we resume the homework again.”
  3. Take the pressure out of the home.  Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  If your child is struggling in math, do not add more pressure by shouting or punishing them.  Sit down next to them and patiently explain it to them. If you are unable to be patient with them, hire a patient tutor.  Speak kindly to your child.  When your child is calm, they can think better.
  4. Allow play and exercise for added focus and brain power. Your child or teen needs to play and exercise in order to sit through school.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain making it easier to focus and learn.  Children need to play to reduce stress.
  5. Stress reduction.  Anxiety and stress hinder learning because the fight or flight system is activated.  Anxiety and stress make it difficult to focus and learn.  Stress and anxiety can be reduced in different ways, such as play, art, exercise and breathing techniques.  Allow your child to open up to you and express how they are feeling without judgement and punishment.
  6. Sleep. Make sure your child or teenager is getting enough sleep at night.  Lack of sleep makes it difficult to learn.
  7. Proper nutrition.  Too much sugar will create fatigue and shorten attention span.  Proper nutrition and diet lead to a healthy body and brain.
  8. Remain calm.  The calmer you are, the calmer your child will be.  This enables a better learning environment in and outside of the home.
  9. Decrease screen time. Overstimulation from the iPad, television, computer, video games and phone decrease attention. Limit the amount your teen or child is allowed to use these electronic devices.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US trained Clinical Psychologist Get in touch with Dr. Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com for an individual or Skype session.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Why am I still single?”

Why am I still single?

Hong Kong counseling services for individual talk therapy and guidance

Many people ask themselves, “Why am I still single?” “Am I unloveable?”

Often we ask ourselves these questions because we are putting to much pressure on finding “the one.” Finding the right partner requires confidence, patience and perseverance. There are certain traits and factors that make you attracted to others, and attractive to others. Here are some points to consider and reflect on in order to go out and meet the right person.

1. What do you value in yourself? If you were to take out a piece of paper and write your top five strengths or things that you admire about yourself, what would they be? Usually, what we value in ourself is what we value in others. Once you have made your list of top five traits, you can reflect on where someone like that would be. Would you meet this person at a bar, comedy club, hiking meet-up or at church.

2. Are you confident or shy? Shy people have a more difficult time putting them self out there to meet other people. Confidence is a trait that people tend to be attracted too. What can you do to push yourself out of your comfort zone and meet more people? Do you need to become more confident? If social anxiety is overwhelming for you, a professional can help to guide you to become a more confident person.

3. Why are you looking for a partner? Are you looking for a partner to keep your family happy or because you believe that you need to fit into society? A partner makes life more enjoyable, it is a want and not a need. You can be happy without a significant other.

4. Get comfortable with rejection. Rejection is part of the dating game. You might date people you like but don’t like you, people you don’t like but they like you, and eventually with patience the person where there is mutual attraction. Dating can feel like a numbers game, the more you put yourself out there, the better the odds.

5. What is your attachment style? People with a secure attachment style tend to be attracted to other people with a secure attachment style. Having a secure attachment means that you are able to connect with others in a healthy way. People who don’t believe that they are worthy of love might find themselves attracted to people who are not comfortable getting close to others. To find out your attachment style and in certain relationships, click this link http://www.yourpersonality.net/attachment/

 

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist

Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

 

0 comments on “Easing Academic Stress in the Home.”

Easing Academic Stress in the Home.

Hong Kong counselling therapist services-child therapy

Academic pressure is a major source of anxiety and stress for many children and teens.  As a parent, you want what is best for your child.  Here are a few pointers to help you ease the academic pressure your child might be feeling.

  1. 1. Have a stress free homework routine.  After school allow your child or teen to have a snack.  Food will help them to be in a better mood and help their brain concentrate better.  It is difficult to think when you are hungry.  Set a regular routine where after they eat, do homework, and then they can be rewarded with play or exercise.
  2. Allow your child breaks.  The brain can only focus for certain amounts of time.  Children have a shorter attention span than adults.  If your child is having a difficult time sitting still, make a game out of the homework.  Say, “If you can focus and do this worksheet properly, you can have two minutes to play, or do whatever you like.  When I count to ten, we resume the homework again.”
  3. Take the pressure out of the home.  Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.  If your child is struggling in math, do not add more pressure by shouting or punishing them.  Sit down next to them and patiently explain it to them. If you are unable to be patient with them, hire a patient tutor.  Speak kindly to your child.  When your child is calm, they can think better.
  4. Allow play and exercise for added focus and brain power. Your child or teen needs to play and exercise in order to sit through school.  Exercise increases blood flow to the brain making it easier to focus and learn.  Children need to play to reduce stress.
  5. Stress reduction.  Anxiety and stress hinder learning because the fight or flight system is activated.  Anxiety and stress make it difficult to focus and learn.  Stress and anxiety can be reduced in different ways, such as play, art, exercise and breathing techniques.  Allow your child to open up to you and express how they are feeling without judgement and punishment.
  6. Sleep. Make sure your child or teenager is getting enough sleep at night.  Lack of sleep makes it difficult to learn.
  7. Proper nutrition.  Too much sugar will create fatigue and shorten attention span.  Proper nutrition and diet lead to a healthy body and brain.
  8. Remain calm.  The calmer you are, the calmer your child will be.  This enables a better learning environment in and outside of the home.
  9. Decrease screen time. Overstimulation from the iPad, television, computer, video games and phone decrease attention. Limit the amount your teen or child is allowed to use these electronic devices.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US trained Clinical Psychologist Get in touch with Dr. Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com for an individual or Skype session.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “How to better manage your days when you are depressed.”

How to better manage your days when you are depressed.

Hong Kong counselling and therapist services

Depression is a liar. It tells us that we are fundamentally flawed and that we should hide. Depression is exhausting. It’s difficult to reach out for help because we don’t want to burden anyone. Sometimes when you are depressed you need to do opposite of what you feel.

1. Reach out for professional help. You might feel like you don’t deserve it or that you don’t need help. You need to push through those thoughts and emotions so that you can get better. If you are too tired to get out of bed, arrange for a Skype consultation. If this seems overwhelming, ask a friend to make the appointment for you.

2. Organize your schedule and stick to a routine. If you can, organize your day hour by hour and develop a daily routine. This will help you to get things done because you will be less confused about what you should be doing.

 

3. Write your thoughts and emotions. Writing out your emotions can help you release some stress. Negative thoughts that are helpless or hopeless should be reframed into positive action.

4. Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins which helps us to feel happier and more motivated.

5. Social support: This one is difficult when you want to hide at home. Mentally prepare yourself to set up a time to meet people who care about you and can help you relax.

6. Laugh: comedy and laughter increase our positive emotions.

7. Go out into nature.

 

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

 

0 comments on “How placing judgement hurts you”

How placing judgement hurts you

Hong Kong psychological services

Human minds organize things and people to process information quicker. The downside to this is categorizing people leads to stereotyping. The key is to be aware of your own stereotypes so that you don’t overlook other valuable information. The more often we judge others, the more often we judge ourself. This can lead to social anxiety and self-consciousness. Here is how you can help yourself.

1. Be aware of your judgements. Are you judging because:

A. Something about the other person represents a part of yourself that you don’t like?

B. The other person reminds you of someone who hurt your you?

C. The other person represents something that you want to be?

2. Speak kindly to yourself and others.

3. Is the judgement destructive or constructive. Destructive judgement is harmful and says that you or the other person are not good enough. Constructive judgement helps you or the other person grow and become better.

4. Reframe destructive judgement. Everyone is a product of their genes and their environment. People act and react to you based on how they perceive you and their own past experiences. Having this in mind helps you to view others objectively rather than critically.

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist who specialises in loss and attachment.  Get in touch with Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel

0 comments on “Why am I still single?”

Why am I still single?

Hong Kong counseling services for individual talk therapy and guidance

Many people ask themselves, “Why am I still single?” “Am I unloveable?”

Often we ask ourselves these questions because we are putting to much pressure on finding “the one.” Finding the right partner requires confidence, patience and perseverance. There are certain traits and factors that make you attracted to others, and attractive to others. Here are some points to consider and reflect on in order to go out and meet the right person.

1. What do you value in yourself? If you were to take out a piece of paper and write your top five strengths or things that you admire about yourself, what would they be? Usually, what we value in ourself is what we value in others. Once you have made your list of top five traits, you can reflect on where someone like that would be. Would you meet this person at a bar, comedy club, hiking meet-up or at church.

2. Are you confident or shy? Shy people have a more difficult time putting them self out there to meet other people. Confidence is a trait that people tend to be attracted too. What can you do to push yourself out of your comfort zone and meet more people? Do you need to become more confident? If social anxiety is overwhelming for you, a professional can help to guide you to become a more confident person.

3. Why are you looking for a partner? Are you looking for a partner to keep your family happy or because you believe that you need to fit into society? A partner makes life more enjoyable, it is a want and not a need. You can be happy without a significant other.

4. Get comfortable with rejection. Rejection is part of the dating game. You might date people you like but don’t like you, people you don’t like but they like you, and eventually with patience the person where there is mutual attraction. Dating can feel like a numbers game, the more you put yourself out there, the better the odds.

5. What is your attachment style? People with a secure attachment style tend to be attracted to other people with a secure attachment style. Having a secure attachment means that you are able to connect with others in a healthy way. People who don’t believe that they are worthy of love might find themselves attracted to people who are not comfortable getting close to others. To find out your attachment style and in certain relationships, click this link http://www.yourpersonality.net/attachment/

 

Dr Monica Borschel is a US-trained Clinical Psychologist

Reach out to Dr Borschel: m.borschel@mindnlife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmonicaborschel